| To HM King David of the Isle of Mann (or
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| | family tree proving his Royal Title, but
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| Man), cousin to Queen Elizabeth II, come
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| | he also proves that he is a cousin to the
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| forth, I, your Not-So-Humble Servant to
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| | Royal Family of Great Britain. Wow, he's
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| render such Wisdom as I can…
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| | cousins with the Queen! Let's get
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| For about ten minutes today, David Howe,
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| | something straight; I'm no genealogist
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| a 38 year old businessman from Maryland
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| | but it seems to me when you cast such an
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| commanded the front page on with the
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| | enormous net (like the Cousin's Net), you
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| story of his Coronation. In 2006 some
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| | are probably also related to Cher, Bill
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| Brit genealogist called to tell him that
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| | Clinton and Dick Cheney. I recommend
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| he might have a claim to the throne of
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| | that you lose the whole Cousins thing.
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| the Isle of Mann (or Man). So, he filled
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| | Let's agree that you are only allowed to
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| out the right forms and sent them to Her
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| | be a Royal Cousin if they invite you over
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| Majesty's Stationary Office which after a
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| | for tea.
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| 90 day review period approved his Royal
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| | Also, if you take the time to look at his
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| application. Apparently they sent him a
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| | Pedigree you may notice that he has
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| crown, a royal robe and a spoon. Some
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| | achieved his gentle rank through
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| Kings get swords, others get scepters,
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| | marriage. Now, that is perfectly
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| but David gets a spoon.
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| | legitimate. But, does that mean he's
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| My favorite part of the story is the
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| | Royal by insertion? If so, then good job
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| reaction from the people of the Isle of
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| | King David! I always heard you were
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| Man, which I think can best be summed up
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| | supposed to pull your Sword out of the
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| as: "Who?" The elected government of the
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| | stone. It just goes to show that you
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| Isle of Man is probably still laughing
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| | cannot trust legends. But it might
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| themselves senseless. They are so
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| | damage your macho image, so I would dump
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| disrespectful of their new King that the
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| | that webpage too.
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| official government website has no
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| | Now, there's the matter of Royal Revenue.
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| mention of his coronation. Well King
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| | Until you conquer your island you can't
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| David, it looks like you'll need to stage
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| | collect taxes. But I have solved that
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| an invasion to enforce Your Royal Rights.
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| | for you! Just sell Knighthoods! There
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| I recommend you look into some the old
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| | are tons of obnoxious idiots who would
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| laws on how to execute traitors. That's
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| | pay dearly for a title. I would add a
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| how you get medieval on their butts.
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| | web store and sell them that way.
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| The best part about this story is that HM
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| | Between the money you can make from
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| (that's His Majesty, to you) King David
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| | titles and the cash that will come in
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| has a lovely website. On his home page
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| | from your charity, you should have a
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| under an enormous picture of him, he
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| | pretty nice war chest.
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| details his efforts to provide aide for
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| | To invade, you will need an army. And
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| the poor AIDS afflicted children of
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| | let's face it, no regular mercenary army
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| Insert African Nation Here. Even
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| | will do. You need to show your subjects
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| Americans know you cannot be a Royal
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| | that you mean business and will not
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| unless you have some charity to support.
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| | tolerate anything but total loyalty. For
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| Especially useful are those charities
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| | that mission, I can only recommend
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| that show you pictures of starving
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| | Blackwater. It might take up some of the
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| children. Those work best of all. Good
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| | money for the African kids, but you can
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| choice there, Your Majesty. You hit that
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| | always pay them back later.
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| nail right on the head.
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| | Anyway, I hope you look charitably on
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| But if you do a little digging into the
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| | Your Servant for his Words of Wisdom and
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| Royal website you find his Royal
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| | that Your Majesty remembers to send me
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| Pedigree. You know, like they do with
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| | money when you use any of these ideas.
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| dogs. Not only does he include his
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|
