| As the offspring of Baby Boomers marry and | | | | have to say whatever comes to mind. If your |
| start their own families, the responsibilities of the | | | | suggestions are requested, present them in an |
| Sandwich Generation grow. You're already in the | | | | open-ended way so that your children are free to |
| middle of your family in flux - between growing | | | | accept or reject. Remember how you felt when |
| children and aging parents. Now the sandwich adds | | | | your mother or mother-in-law shared their |
| another layer, the grandchildren. It's sometimes | | | | opinions about how to raise your children. |
| harder to eat, but definitely quite appetizing. | | | | 4. Talk about the challenges. Don't be afraid to |
| It's often said that you don't experience perfect | | | | communicate with your children in a |
| love until the birth of your first grandchild. Baby | | | | non-confrontational way. You will all be more |
| Boomers describe this event as an opportunity to | | | | comfortable and appreciative of your relationship |
| slow down and savor one of life's most precious | | | | if you don't let issues fester. However, don't |
| gifts. Iris put it best: "For too many years I've | | | | expect that the results of your talk will follow a |
| been caught up between the dramas of my | | | | pre-determined path. Often the fact that there is |
| grown children and aging parents. My new | | | | conversation is more important than the outcome |
| grandson has been a welcome distraction - and I | | | | of any one particular discussion. |
| am enraptured by him. Believe me, this whole | | | | 5. Be aware of your feelings. You may be |
| experience - seeing my son as a dad and getting | | | | ambivalent about babysitting often when it begins |
| to know my grandson - is by far the richest part | | | | to impact the pursuit of your personal interests. |
| of getting older." | | | | Choose a balance between your own needs and |
| Do you have mixed emotions about this new | | | | the responsibilities of your grand-parenting role. It |
| chapter in your life, with feelings of eager | | | | is important to set the limits that work for you. |
| anticipation yet some trepidation? Perhaps you're | | | | 6. Respect your children. You have spent years |
| not sure what to expect - from the baby, your | | | | raising your sons and daughters and now allow |
| children, your co-grandparents or even from | | | | them to raise their own children. A lot has |
| yourself. Here is a compilation of suggestions for | | | | changed since you began to parent - new |
| grandparents-to-be, and reminders for you | | | | theories of child-rearing, new equipment, new |
| veterans - honor your children, stand up for your | | | | techniques. Don't assume that, just because you |
| own needs, and make the most of this | | | | did things in a certain way, it's the best. Your |
| unparalleled opportunity. | | | | relationship with your children will change as you |
| 1. Enjoy the process. Don't worry about the old | | | | begin to see their capabilities in a different light. |
| stereotype of "grandparent" - it needn't define | | | | When you hold back, you will notice how naturally |
| you. You can add to your self image without | | | | and competently they love and care for your |
| subtracting all that you have created and gained | | | | grandchildren. |
| over the years. Allow yourself to accept and take | | | | In valuing your children's parenting style, you will |
| pleasure in your insights about yourself and your | | | | realize that the benefits can be immeasurable. |
| relationships. | | | | Mark said he was happy that, "By taking our cues |
| 2. Be helpful, especially in the beginning. Think | | | | about the grandkids from our daughter-in-law, |
| ahead about the ways you can assist your | | | | we've earned her confidence and trust. We've |
| children and offer to do them even if they are | | | | been given our stripes and the reward, an |
| not your first choice - run errands, do a middle of | | | | on-going relationship with our grandchildren, |
| the night feeding, baby-sit early on a weekend | | | | benefits everyone." Herein lays a second chance |
| morning. You will feel closer to your grandchild | | | | to make a difference. And a fringe benefit to |
| after putting in the effort and your children will be | | | | consider is seeing these relationships as an |
| more relaxed without having to do these extra | | | | investment in the future - your grandkids may |
| chores. | | | | eventually be taking care of you. |
| 3. Try not to offer advice unless asked. You don't | | | | |