| iv> | | | | capable of being a support to others to lean back |
| 10 steps to keep loneliness at bay... | | | | on. |
| Possibly you are lonely because you are living in a | | | | Self-sufficiency would make you complete in |
| nuclear family with your husband busy with his | | | | yourself. You would take responsibility for your |
| work and the children busy with their studies. | | | | own feelings whether they are of happiness or |
| Women of a joint family have too much of | | | | sorrow or loneliness. This self-sufficiency will help |
| company, so their problem is usually that they | | | | you to manage on your own and that will free |
| want to be alone. But they can also be lonely | | | | you of the need for others. You need not stop |
| while living in a large joint family. | | | | loving. You need not stop expressing your feelings. |
| These are people who love to be alone but when | | | | All you need to do is that, whether you are alone |
| this "being alone" seems like a punishment and | | | | or with someone, you should feel content and |
| you yearn for company, then the aloneness has | | | | peaceful with yourself without blaming another |
| changed into loneliness, which can hurt. It hurts | | | | person for what you feel or not feel. |
| the most when there is the possibility that you | | | | 4) You should think less and become a woman of |
| can have company but you feel that the other | | | | action. What is the use of thinking and wounding |
| person chooses not to be with you. Then this | | | | yourself that, "Nobody loves me. Poor me, I am |
| enforced aloneness makes you feel sorry for | | | | lonely." Find the solution yourself there and then. |
| yourself as you feel unwanted. | | | | Don't think but get up and do something that you |
| This is mostly the case with women whose | | | | like. When there is no time for such useless |
| husbands remain very busy with their work. | | | | thinking and you are fruitfully occupied, loneliness |
| Women feel that such husbands have a choice | | | | will have to be quite away from you. |
| and if they wanted they could spend time with | | | | 5) So, what is important is that you develop your |
| them. This sort of loneliness seems more like a | | | | own hobbies which you love to do and see to it |
| punishment because the emotional trauma is | | | | that your time is well spent and you are not |
| there that your husband does not love you. | | | | lonely. Whether it is gardening, reading or any |
| If there are teenage children and they are not | | | | other activity which you relish even though it |
| ready to give time to you, it can be very | | | | gives no profit, then it will also help you remove |
| frustrating. The same child who could not live | | | | loneliness. |
| without you for a minute, now has a separate life | | | | 6) It would be better, of course, to do some |
| of his/her own in which you do not figure at all. | | | | work which lets you earn. The only requirement is |
| Of course, you will feel hurt because your own | | | | that it uses the time you are free if you are not |
| flesh and blood is not giving you the time and | | | | career-oriented and bent on building your life with |
| consideration which is a part of expressing love. | | | | ambition. Of course, nothing stops you from |
| In joint families, you may have to do a lot of | | | | having a full-fledged career, if you are ready for |
| work. You may have to care for elders and look | | | | that. Don't look after the children yourself but, |
| after a large family. If you feel that you are being | | | | with a clear conscience, pass the responsibility to |
| exploited by your in-laws and your husband does | | | | someone else. |
| not take your side, you are bound to feel all the | | | | 7) Helping others in your free time will also help |
| more lonely because you feel forsaken by your | | | | whether you just sit and talk to an old neighbour |
| own husband. This feeling of being neglected is | | | | who has no one or visit a hospital to cheer people |
| thus the main reason for loneliness when a | | | | up. Seeing the condition of others can end |
| woman is staying in a family where there are | | | | self-pity and martyrdrom and so loneliness seems |
| other family members. | | | | hardly a punishment but just empty space to fill |
| To beat this loneliness there are steps we can | | | | up with fun and action. So, what you need to do |
| follow that will make the loneliness bearable. | | | | is to keep busy. |
| 1) The first thing is to be prepared for loneliness. | | | | 8) It is important to be positive and not negative |
| If you are ready for it and accept it, loneliness | | | | in attitude. Translated into action it means that |
| becomes easier to bear. For this the romantic | | | | you should see the bright side of things and hope |
| blinkers of the Mills and Boon type has to be | | | | and have faith that the things you are deprived |
| removed and the mind should be made to accept | | | | of will come to you soon. Hope and faith can pull |
| that the husband will not stand with a rose for | | | | you through the worst conditions. |
| you and be chivalrous all the time. | | | | 9) Be kind and think of how tried your son is |
| He has to work and that obsession to get | | | | after his tuitions and how weary your husband is |
| success and prosperity can be very | | | | after his work. |
| time-consuming as the world has become very | | | | 10) What is essential is that you stop thinking as |
| competitive. Once this acceptance is there, you | | | | being a martyr. You feel that you are blessed by |
| will not blame your husband and he will not | | | | the circumstances and life. At least, you have a |
| become fed up with you. On the other hand, your | | | | husband. At least, you have a child. |
| acceptance will make him understand your | | | | It is worse for those who live all alone without a |
| loneliness better. | | | | family. But then one has to manage. Such people |
| 2) Don't expect anything from anyone, not even | | | | should stop thinking of limits. |
| from your husband and children. They did not in | | | | You should feel that the world is your family. This |
| any way take over the contract to keep you | | | | may be difficult but when you include others |
| entertained, so you couldn't be bored and lonely. | | | | within the purview of mind, you will always be |
| They have their own lives to lead and they can | | | | with the feeling that you have company. It will |
| give a modicum of company but you should not | | | | also keep you busy and so loneliness will be |
| expect that their aim will be just to make your | | | | pushed away. |
| life free from the feeling of loneliness. When there | | | | Thus loneliness is a state of mind that you should |
| is no expectation, there will be no disappointment. | | | | take up as youe own duty to manage and not |
| 3) Being self-sufficient is the main way you can | | | | wait for others to help you out. It is all a matter |
| remove loneliness. You should stop depending on | | | | of mindset and you can make your will-power |
| others. You should be ready to fend for yourself. | | | | dictate to your mind and heart to do something |
| If you are complete in yourself and don't need | | | | when you feel lonely so that you don't slip into |
| others you will not become like a creeper | | | | self-pity. |
| depending on the main tree, rather you will be | | | | Then, loneliness will not be a punishment at all. |