| Stress in our relationships is something that we | | | | never have to change the oil! |
| can no longer avoid. At one time we could keep it | | | | But when it comes to something that we own, |
| under control, but now that it is so difficult to | | | | something that we are attached to, well, that's a |
| make ends meet and to just plain survive, the | | | | different story. First we crave something, then |
| stress can become unbearable. | | | | after we obtain it and take ownership, we |
| Since we vent our anger on whomever is closest | | | | become attached. Then we begin clinging to it. |
| to us, our partners mostly get the heat. And | | | | Now we have set ourselves up for eventual |
| since there are more and more things every day | | | | anger, guilt and depression when whatever it is |
| that go wonky - computers, cars, insurance turn | | | | that we cling to is taken away, or even |
| downs, kids, mortgages, you name it, hardly a | | | | threatened to be taken away. So we do all kinds |
| day goes by that anger doesn't flair up. And who | | | | of things to protect our item of passion, including |
| is there to bear the brunt of it? Our loving | | | | marrying it (with prenuptials) or insuring it so that |
| partner. | | | | we are not disappointed if something happens. |
| We sign up for health insurance and pay the | | | | Therefore, it boils down to either: not having |
| premiums, and when we have a problem, they | | | | anything, or not being attached to whatever we |
| don't pay. Who wouldn't become angry; it's not | | | | do have. Any other scenario insures stress. |
| fair. But if they warned you ahead of time about | | | | Since we really can't get rid of what we have and |
| all the probable reasons that they would turn you | | | | what we hold dear, such as our relationships, |
| down, you would never buy the policy in the first | | | | careers, homes and vehicles, if we truly want to |
| place, and they know that. So they take your | | | | reduce our stress we must learn how to become |
| premiums until you get sick, and then cut you | | | | unattached while continuing to live in relationship |
| loose. It's a win-win situation for the insurance | | | | with all of these things. |
| companies, with no one to stop them. | | | | How does one become unattached while |
| It has been reported that when a women | | | | continuing to take care of responsibilities and take |
| recently complained to CIGNA that her daughter | | | | care of relationships? It's easy. Just do everything |
| died because they refused to treat her, even | | | | you can, as well as you can, without worrying |
| though she had full coverage, an employee of | | | | about the results. |
| CIGNA reportedly gave her the finger, reflecting. I | | | | Not only will this free up about 50% of the |
| believe, the health insurance industry's true opinion | | | | energy that you waste by worrying, but will |
| of their clients. And no one can reign in these | | | | improve your relationship because the stress |
| companies; they are beyond control. | | | | factor will be reduced immensely. And it is not |
| So it is no wonder that we become angry, and | | | | difficult to do. If you cannot do it by just reading |
| these are the kinds of things that negatively | | | | this article, then you can do mental practices that |
| affect our relationships. | | | | will eventually enable you to become completely |
| Stress boils down to one thing; wanting things to | | | | unattached to results while actually improving your |
| go our way. We expect everything to go along | | | | performance in every way because of the |
| swimmingly, and when they don't, when we get | | | | lessening of stress and worry. |
| blindsided - we get angry because anger is our | | | | The easiest mental practice to do is to simply |
| acknowledgment that we have lost control. | | | | watch your breathing. This can be done at any |
| Wanting things and wanting to control things are | | | | time but is most effective early in the morning or |
| natural enough desires, the problem is; since our | | | | just when retiring. This is not rocket science or |
| lives have become so complicated, it is a | | | | religion - it is simply noticing you breath and then |
| mathematical probability that something will go | | | | letting go of each breath as it comes and goes. |
| wrong almost every day. So that means we will | | | | What is important is that you watch your breath, |
| be in a constant state of anger for the rest of | | | | each and every breath, and not allow thoughts |
| our lives! - unless we can find a solution. | | | | and worries to interfere. It's a practice. You can |
| Assuming that we don't throw up our hands and | | | | begin by noticing what kind of thoughts want to |
| move to a deserted island in the South Pacific | | | | interfere with your noticing each and every in |
| (which has a set of its own problems), and | | | | breath and out breath. Are they thoughts about |
| assuming that we are not the type that can buy | | | | the past - what happened today? Thoughts about |
| into a belief system and turn everything over to | | | | the future - what you have to do tomorrow? |
| this or that savior (another set of unique | | | | Whatever they are, learn to let them go and just |
| problems for intelligent people who want to get to | | | | watch your breathing during the time that you |
| the bottom of their problems, not just | | | | are practicing. |
| psychologically gloss them over), and assuming | | | | You may find in the beginning that the past and |
| that we cannot control the outside circumstances | | | | future thoughts are so compelling that you must |
| that slap us aside the head on a daily basis, how | | | | stop watching your breath in order to solve |
| can we reduce our stress levels? Because if we | | | | something - come to a conclusion and think it out. |
| don't reduce them, they will turn into anger, which | | | | For example; plan out your day tomorrow. But in |
| eventually turns into guilt, and finally depression. | | | | time, you will be able to let each thought go as it |
| We need a suit of armor. No matter how many | | | | comes up regardless of how important it seems, |
| arrows are shot at us, if we are wearing our suit | | | | and handle it after practice. Then, after practicing, |
| of armor, they would bounce off. So let's get a | | | | you will have a little more wisdom and insight on |
| suit of armor. | | | | your side to make what ever decision is |
| A suit of armor is not expensive, actually it costs | | | | necessary. This is what eventually changes stress |
| nothing at all, just a readjustment and an | | | | into acceptance. |
| awareness of the way we think. Right now, we | | | | This simple exercise of allowing each breath to |
| think that if we don't control things, there will be | | | | come and go and not attaching to it, and learning |
| disaster, but really, disasters don't exist as an | | | | not to become attached to your past and future |
| entity in themselves. They exist only when they | | | | thoughts during practice, will in time make a |
| are connected to something that is valuable to us. | | | | change in the way you attach to other things in |
| If we wreck a rental car, it's not the same as | | | | life. |
| wrecking our beloved sports car - who cares, it | | | | So good luck! This really works, but you are the |
| belongs to someone else. There is nothing quite as | | | | one that must make it work; it doesn't happen by |
| liberating as driving a company truck, they can be | | | | itself. |
| abused all day without a second thought, and we | | | | |