Who am I if I Let Go of my Pain?

We are so much more than we know. The divineshorter or a longer period of time, until such time
eternal spark of love, light and hope lives within us.as our inner being feels safe enough to begin to
This is true for all souls and all of us who areexplore other possibilities.
embodied here on the Earth, and yet so often lifeWhen the time comes that life shows us that we
our daily life feels so far from this.don't need to continue in these old patterns, it is
There are some difficult or traumatic events thatpossible that we find ourselves afraid to let go of
shape us profoundly to the very core of ourour defenses. In some ways, our emotional
being. Some are personal or family events andarmoring was familiar, and provided a sense of
some are larger global events that affect ussafety. To think of letting this go can provoke
deeply.feelings of panic or even terror, even if another
When pain enters our life, there are copingpart of us wants to move forward and free
mechanisms within us that help us to get throughourselves.
the time of difficulty. If the trauma is very deep,One of the reasons this can be so difficult is
or goes on for a very long time, our copingbecause our defenses became, for a time, a part
mechanisms can solidify and form a protectiveof identity. When we begin to let these go,
layer around us. These eventually becomesuddenly it can feel as though our very self is on
assimilated into our identity, so that we no longerthe line. The question becomes, who am I if I let
feel the pain of the traumatic events. Our copinggo of my pain? Like standing on the cliff, looking
mechanisms help us to move forward into life,down into the abyss, it can feel like there is
despite difficult circumstances.nothing and no one to catch us if we dare to let
These ways of coping with pain are intended togo of holding on.
support us in times of difficulty. They are notIn reality, there is a natural rhythm and flow to
intended to become solidified into an entire wayour inner lives, so when we reach the point of
of life, however in the absence of the love andbeing willing to open to new possibilities, new
light that are needed to foster healing, we maysupports become available, so that we are not
become entrenched in the old defenses. It isalone in facing our fears. It could be a new
possible to go through life with an emotional andfriendship or relationship, an inner sense of greater
energetic suit of armor, which protects us andtrust, or other kinds of supports that reveal
allows us to function, but which does not allow forthemselves and help us to have the courage to
a greater level of intimacy or emotionalopen to the new and to let go of our past
connection with others.defenses.
In this kind of situation, the emotional, physical andIn this way, we are helped to move forward in
energetic patterns of self protection can becomeour life's journey, and to gradually come to know
so much a part of us that we no longer know ofmore of who we are as divine eternal beings of
any other options. Like a fish who does not realizelove. When we have the courage and faith to
that he is in water, because he knows of norelease our hold on old ways of perceiving
other options, we remain in the only environmentourselves, a new world opens before us and
we have known, not realizing there is any otherreveals choices we would have previously only
possibility.dreamed about. By releasing our hold on the pain,
Under these circumstances our identity and senseand by releasing the ways we have protected
of who we are shapes itself around our defensiveourselves against the pain, we are born anew into
patterning. Without realizing it, we become oura new realm of love and possibility.
coping mechanisms. This can continue for a